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Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

	2006.05.12  04.10 babyshambles i usually dont use this expression, but: oh my god! babyshambles! pete doherty showed up at 1:15 am, and for the first time i understood what it means if you see somebody burn like a candle. he will be dead in a year. but still, they did a great, very fucked up show. for me, yelling for an encore felt so obsence. this guy looked so much like he needed someone to protect him and not to be on stage. wow.

	2006.04.08  14.16 God, I need to fuck. Any volunteers? I only request a vagina right now, I totally don't care about any other physical or intellectual features at the moment. Mood: Horny Music: Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Honeybear

	2006.02.23  09.27 I got my first ticket for the world cup. yay! its tunesia vs ukraine in berlin - and though its not a game i would kill for, its not a bad one at all. that made my day. Mood: happy Music: Turin Brakes - They can't buy the sunshine

	2006.02.21  11.15 Watch out, Arnie! I am now proud member of a gym. My muscles started to bloat right in the moment when i signed the contract. All this weightlifting stuff is a bit boring, but I am really into these spinning courses they offer. And there are three different saunas. Thats the best way to spent a sunday afternoon. The gym is located in Neukölln, so you have an interesting mixture of bald-headed turkish bouncers, students and housewives. sweaty men in leggins and muscle shirts are not sexy. I wonder how long it will take before i turn into a musculous, tanned proletarian with highlighted hair. Mood: Strong Music: Tomte - Warum ich hier stehe

	2006.01.17  20.33 T-Mobile... i can add one more to my many t-mobile stories. i renewed my contract, so i got a new phone, a sony ericsson d750i. yesterday, i had it delivered by ups. i unpacked and realized that they also sent me a new sim card. i got that feeling that something went wrong and called the hotline. "oh, no, your contract has not been renewed, you have two contracts now. just send the phone back to us and we will cancel this new one." "but when i renew the contract, i get a new phone. so, can't i just keep the phone?" "no, we need the sim card." "but i can send you the sim card." "but i can send you the card back." "no, you have to send the phone, too." "and then, next week, you send me the same model back again?" "yes." ***insert endless discussion here*** "ok, i'll go to a t-mobile shop and talk to them." so in went there, and they told me the same. i renewed my contract there, and they handed me out exact the same mobile phone i already had with me. so i had to of them, and i was sending one of them back to t-mobile yesterday. when the woman gave me the "new" one with the "old" one still on the counter, i laughed and said "you must admit that this is a bit silly." and she laughed back and agreed. this whole t-mobile/t-com company is so fucked up. Mood: verwirrt Music: ben folds - best imitation of myself

	2006.01.15  03.36 Deleter happy new year, dear comrades. today, i was mucking out my adress book. it feels so strange when you delete the contact data of people who have died, people you will never call again. like my grandmother, i deleted her information today. she died last year. we have never been close, but still it is weird to think that "her" phone number might already be somebody elses number now. maybe i should call and say hello. her house is sold already, so all the traces that she left in information society are slowly fading. sartre says that you are not dead until nobody is still alive who remembers you from personal experience. ha. that might happen faster than you think. after deleting her entry i was wondering how my dad feels. both of his parents are dead now, so he is the first in line to make an ultimate experience. he is the oldest of his siblings. does that make you feel closer to dead? i mean when you get older you slowly start to accept that your parents will die sooner or later. but what happens when they are dead? does that make you finally feel your momentarieness? not the way of " yes, well all die sooner or later" but like "next time they will mourn my owen death"? when your parents die you know that you have a good chance to be the next one to go. and after them... thats scary. it feels a step closer. ah, anyway. happy dreams. Mood: thoughtful Music: arctic monkeys

	2005.12.16  18.37 Toilet Technique Survey Yesterday I read something about the different ways people all over the world use toilet paper. Germans for example, are "Folders". 90% of us fold the toilet paper, before they use it (accurate germans, we are indeed!) In England, in contrast, 30% of the population forms the toilet paper into a ball (?!)) before usage, and (still a strong) minority folds. The rest of the english boys and girls use other (in the article not explicitly described) techniques. Now, in america, more than 90% of the population is using this "ball"-technique, while other methods seem to be almost unknown. When the "Charmin" toilet paper entered the german market, it first floped. the company had to develop a a completey new paper, because the original american one was not usable with the typical german technique - it had the tendency to rip... uuuh... now, with a new, more robust paper, they gained a 5% marketshare. I know, I know, I sometimes tend to read off the beaten track, but isn't that interesting? I mean, I never thought that there would be different ways to use toilet paper, and I can still not believe that americans "agglomerate" (is that the word?) it to a ball. Now, dear americans, show your colors for the sake of science and my mental peace: How you do it? And english people, what techniques do you use beside agglomeration und folding? Mood: folded Music: Ben Folds - Landed

	2005.12.14  11.38 Ok, I sometimes bother the readers with these damn memes, but I hope it's not too often. I wanted to review the last year (not here in livejournal), and then stumbled over this one... so it's more done for myself... 1) Was 2005 a good year for you? Economically it was a very good one, emotionally a complete disaster. 2) What was your favorite moment of the year? I really don't know. 3) What was your least favourite moment of the year? My best friend leaving Berlin and going to Ghana. 4) Where were you when 2005 began? At a boring party. 5) Who were you with? Disaster Girl and some other people. 6) Where will you be when 2005 ends? Hopefully at a less boring party - a friend of mine is organizing one in a whorehouse. Should be fun because the "professionals" will also be there - NNOOOO, not what you think now! Spoiler: it's a costume party and m hates wearing costumes. 7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends? Hopefully less bored/boring people than last year. 8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005? Had none. 9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006? Will have none. 10) Did you fall in love in 2005? No, not even something close to that. Sometimes I think that I am already too crippled (emotionally) to let love happen. 11) If yes, with who? ha 12) If yes, do they know? ha 13) Are you still in love with them? ha 14) You regret it? ha 15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005? Yes, disaster girl. 16) Did you make any new friends in 2005? Yes. 17) Who are your favourite new friends? Friends are Friends. 18)What was your favourite month of 2005? I don't know 19) Did you travel outside of the the country in 2005? Not really, only short visits to Poland, Luxemburg, Netherlands and France. 20) How many different countries did you travel to in 2005? That makes four, right? 21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005? Yes. my grandmother. 22) Did you miss anybody in the past year? Yes, distaster girl and my best friend. 23) What was your favourite movie that you saw in 2005? I dont know. didnt see a lot of movies this year i think 24) What was your favourite song in 2005? Maybe "darf ich das behalten". 25) What was your favourite record in 2005? Hurricane Bar by Mando Diao 26) How many shows did you see in 2005? Maybe 10. 27) Did you have a favourite concert in 2005? Wir sind Helden and Wilco 28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005? absolutely, but i have excuses 29)Did you do any drugs in 2005? No, i gave up drugs a long time ago. 30) How many people did you sleep with in 2005? one 31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year? yes, but i am not talking about that 33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005? I didnt find out, and i dont want to. 34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005? possibly, yes. i am not an angel, and i can be a selfish asshole sometimes. 35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005? yes, but thank god i have no heart 36) How much money did you spend in 2005? too much. compensating emotional trouble 37) What was your proudest moment of 2005? i dont know, maybe when i finished my first complete book (as a ghostwriter, not my own) 38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005? disaster girl throwing dirt at me in front of all her friends. made me clear that i had to leave her. Mood: hungry Music: Babyshambles - Fuck Forever

	2005.12.13  22.57 Hallo, künstliche Sonne? Berliner Winter sind kalt, und Berliner Winter sind vor allem dunkel. Mangelnde Sonneneinstrahlung führt beim Menschen zu verminderter Vitamin A-Bildung und so auf direktem Wege zu den gefürchteten Winterdepressionen. Aufgrund meiner genealogisch verbrieften transalpinen Herkunft sehe ich mich diesbezüglich besonders gefährdet. Nun bin ich an sich kein Freund der künstlichen UV-Zufuhr - Sonnenbänke sind peinlich, machen beängstigende Knackgeräusche und verleihen meiner zarten Haut die Haptik antiker Schriftrollen. Aber das alles zusammen ist ehrlich gesagt immernoch besser, als sich vom der Oberbaumbrücke zu stürzen, weil die Sonne mal drei Tage Zicke spielen muss. Kreuzberg ist nun eine Ecke unserer schönen Stadt mit einer guten Infrastruktur - ich mache mich also auf den Weg in der Erwartung, zügig auf eine entsprechende Toastbude zu stossen. Bei einem Fussmarsch, der sich letztendlich bis an den Rand einer neuen Zeitzone hinzog, trabte ich an der üblichen Kreuzberger Restaurant-, Kneipen-, Döner Mischung vorbei, ohne fündig zu werden. Auf meinem Weg lagen zwei Studios für erotische Thai-Massagen, ein Homosexuellen- und ein Ramones-Museum, Spezialgeschäfte für Kriminalromane, seltene Schokoladen, esoterische Türgehänge und ein Swinger-Club. Ein stinknormales Sonnenstudio ist Kreuzberg wohl zu piefig. Liegt es an dem hohen Anteil naturgebräunter süd- und südosteuropäischer Freunde hier in unserer schönen Ecke, dass die Nachfrage einfach für ein lohnendes Geschäft nicht ausreicht? Oder an dem im Berlin immernoch nicht abgeflauten Trend zum Heroin-Chic? Lässt die hohe Zahl der angebotenen erotischen Dienstleistungen darauf schließen, dass der durchschnittliche Kreuzberger sexuell notständig ist - und liegt das vielleicht in der suboptimalen Pigmentierung begründet? Oder ist es so, dass umgekehrt der bargeldgeregelte Hormonabfluss die Notwendigkeit eines attraktiven Äußeren vermindert? Nach einigem Nachdenken kam mir noch in den Sinn, dass unsere in Kreuzberg geballten türkischen Freunde an diesem Mangel Schuld tragen könnten, da ihre allgegenwärtigen Kulturvereinsversammlungsräume immer so unglaublich hell erleuchtet sind dass man sich verwundert fragt, wie man es dort drin länger als zwei Minuten ohne Schutzbrille aushält. Diese Möglichkeit habe ich allerdings nach intensiver Prüfung verworfen. Einzig kann ich sagen, dass diese erfolglose langwierige Suche letztendlich bei mir für eine gesunde Gesichtsfarbe gesorgt hat - und so geht diese kleine Geschichte doch noch gut zu Ende. Dafür ein Dank an den kalten Berliner Winter von dieser Stelle aus. Mood: rednosed Music: Funny van Dannen - Stringtanga

	2005.12.08  17.46 Sex and the Massages Today I received the 10th of the 12 massages my doctor prescribed me. 10 massages mean about 5 hours of conversation with the person that massages you (in my case a not un-cute girl). Animals, as us men are, when you get known to each other better, the professional aspect of the massages slides in the background and some kind of erotic connotation tiptoes in. Today, as she came to the relaxing part of the programm where she works my back with the whole palms of her hands, I caught myself thinking: "If you do this for two more minutes, I will have to ask you if you want to lay down next to me..." It's not my fault, it's the hormons, or some genetic programm, I don't know, there is nothing i can do about it. I only got 2 more sessions left. I could really get used to it. Mood: aroused Music: Boards of Canada

	2005.12.07  11.38 So our last gouvernment obviously tolerated the kidnapping of a citizen by the CIA. I mean, the whole Guantanamo-thing going on the States is absolutely unacceptable, but there is nothing you can do about it. But the CIA kidnaps people in germany, people are transferred to some 3rd world countries to get tortured from our airports? What is going on here? I really can't beliebe it, and there more I read about it, the more bewildered I get. This must be a bad joke. Music: The Decemberists - We both go down together

	2005.12.01  15.23 The Fall of the World's Own Pessimist Sometimes, even when things get obviously better, they mean that life gets worse in a way (if you just look close enough). Music: Udo Lindenberg - Andrea Doria

	2005.11.24  15.10 Hopeless romantic In his Metaphysik der Sitten, Immanuel Kant defines marriage as "a contract that regulates the exculsive mutual access right to the partners sexual organs." (Thats only my amateurish, unauthorised translation...) Sounds like old Immanuel was really a hot and passionate lover. Music: The Libertines - Campaign of Hate

	2005.11.22  12.52 Angie Now that we have our new Chancellorette, I wonder if we will ever press pictures of her an Wladimir Putin in the sauna, both dressed only with a towel around their hips. My neck still kills me. I went to the doctor, and he gave me a prescription for 12 massages and some fango baths. Yay. Mood: Curious Music: Brian Eno - By this River

	2005.11.20  19.50 Mmmh... Delta Muscles I have a distinct obsession with female upper arms. And Madonna is the upper arm queen. I just saw a video of her, and her arms are the sexiest ones in the world. I want to bite into her lovely delta muscle. News from the strange female state of mind: M has a friend who has affair with a sweet girl. she is not from berlin, but she visits him regularly. A few weeks ago, we all went out together and I realized that she started to flirt with me. Yesterday night we went out again with a few people and when we both were alone at the bar for a moment she asked me why we are not together. I was really surprised. But before I had the chance to answer, her "affair" came back. This is the second time in the last month that something like this happens to me. What happend to good old loyality?

	2005.11.15  17.08 I know that this is just the lamest line and you can hear it in every episode of MTV dismissed by some pimpeld frat boy. But it's never been more true than it is right now: I NEED A MASSAAAAAAGE. Please, and - immediatley! My neck could serve as an ambos, and some of you might know what happend to my shoulder a few weeks ago. Volunteers are very welcome. Music: She's got to have it - Deep Throat Anthology

	2005.11.13  05.01 now after going out tonight (which was fun) i really have a serious question and i dont ask it because i want to put myself into this jesus-like position: why do you (as a guy) have to justify yourself for not jumping on any chance to have sex? i know that this subject is already going on in my posts in one or the other kind of way. but after a night like this one i had i just cant ignore the fact that my friends dont understand me. is it so strange that i dont want to fuck any girl i could? why should i have sex with someone i am not interested in? am i sick? i dont really think so. and i also dont want to say that girls are banging at my door by the dozen. not at all. i just want to have the right to say no and still be regarded as a normal human being by doing so. maybe i am metroübersexual. gnight.

	2005.11.12  04.49 don't (like never) - park a group of 15 french exchange students on my lap suggesting that this guy (me!) is almost french and will take care of any problems and questions because he (me!) just loves to do so. it puts some unpleasant pressure on both parties. - ever give me advices like "you just have to let yourself fall in love again". - try to turn me on by saying "come over here sweetie pie". especially not if you are earning your money in the horizontal business. it seems like i am wasting a lot of time right now.

	2005.11.08  11.34 I hate it when I someone takes my picture. I hate it even more when I am drunk and someone takes my picture. But what I hate most is when I am drunk, someone takes my picture and puts it on a goddam website: http://berlin.nachtagenten.de/pictures.php4?content=display&event=2005.11.05_Blood&pic=DSC00885.jpg Don't we both look excited?

	2005.11.03  20.59 Hooray for media overkill I finally got my new video iPod. Decadence. I love it. I already converted a few DVDs. I am not sure - the new one seems to have a much crisper sound than my old model. But thats probably more of a psychological phenomenon. What i learned is that TNT sucks. First of all, when you wait for your little parcel, you end up checking this package tracker thingie in 5-minute intervalls, at least i do because I am an unpatient bastard. Pod is in Shanghai. Still in Shanghai. Still in Shanghai. What a waste of time. When your stuff landed in Europe, the intervalls get shorter. Its in Amsterdam. Left the Terminal. On The Way to Arnheim. Hannover. Berlin. Hooray! But wait. When the iPod finally arrived in Berlin, das_m wasn't in Berlin anymore because he left for his grandmother's 85th birthday orgy where he had promised to serve cocktails in a tigerskin string tanga for touchy old nazi widows. Fuck. I had to wait 4 (four!) more days. Package tracker told me that TNT came to my appartment on friday at 12:14 (I left Berlin at 10:30). So I called TNT on monday and told them that they can do the delivery on Wednesday, when i am back in town. Ok, TNT lady said, and thanks for calling. Wednesday - I sit and wait. Nothing happens. I get the feeling that something went wrong. I call TNT. Lovely Lady tells me that they tried to deliver on Tuesday and that i wasnt home. Thats right, I said, thats why i called on Monday and made an appointment for wendsday. Oh thats too bad, but now we can't deliver it today anymore. But you can pick it up here. So I take a one-hour ride from Kreuzberg to the TNT building somewhere around Tegel airport. It's like giving birth. But its such a lovely baby. It's called Bruno. Mood: Happy Daddy Music: Turin Brakes - They can't buy the sunshine

	2005.10.26  07.33 free OK, so I am free again and it looks as i can keep my arm. hospitals suck, but I am alright. I can even move my arm. Even trying to button some jeans gave me a new definition of the word pain last week. But the strong man I am, I survived and I did not cry. What almost makes me cry is this torture that Apple and the guys form TNT are giving me. I am out now for two days, and still waiting for my new video iPod. Now in the last two guys, two times some delivery guy was ringing at my door with a package in his hand. Of course I was thinking "Yeah, Yeah, my little pod arrived!!!", but both times he only had stuff for my neighbours who weren't at home. grrr. Mood: unpatient

	2005.10.17  16.02 so i broke my scapula on sunday. it hurts like mad. i will have a surgery on wednesday, and stay at the goddam hospital until monday. die, fucking scapula, die! Mood: über-pissed

	2005.10.13  11.04 I am crazy. I need a special person to fill this emotional hole. If I keep on filling this empty space with desperate consumption, i will sooner or later be completely broke. As there is nobody in sight to do this for me, i ordered the new video iPod. 60 GB, in white. Ships in a week. I am excited! Anybody interested in a 40 GB Model? I am selling one. Mood: extravagant Music: Kruder & Dorfmeister

	2005.10.10  21.29 On Strike Allem weiblichen Emanzipationsgetrumphe zum Trotz wird der althergebrachte Rendevouzritus auch heute noch in Gang gesetzt, indem das Männchen die Telefonnummer des paarungsrelevanten Weibchens erlegt. Das Männchen freut sich über den Blattschuss wie Hulle - ein zerfaserter Bierdeckel mit zehn handgekrakelten Ziffern am Rand löst beim Fussballtrainig mit den Kumpanen eine Euphorie aus, als habe man am Wochenende Saddam höchstpersönlich aus einem Erdloch gezogen. Ich will nicht im bestreiten, dass man als Mann von einem erschreckend archaischen Jagdtrieb versklavt wird. Natürlich ist es ein erhebendes Gefühl, wenn man seine Beute an den Haaren hinter sich her nach Hause schleift. Das Problem ist nur: man muss sehr lange durch die Steppe tigern und vielen falschen Fährten folgen, bis es so weit ist. Ganz abgesehen davon, dass auch der raubeinigste Cowboy sich zur Abwechslung auch gern mal von einer hübschen Squaw skalpieren lassen würde. Allein: es passiert - von homöopathisch dosierten Ausnahmen abgesehen - nie. Selbst die Männer in meinem Bekanntenkreis, denen ich neidlos und ohne jeden Zweifel Hengsttum in fortgeschrittenem Stadium zubillige, blicken auf eine grandiose Reihe von Enttäuschungen, kalten Schultern und spontan dahinfantasierten Telefonnummern zurück. Würden die deutschen Männer die Zeit an der Werkbank und bei der Feldarbeit verbringen, die sie jedes Jahr damit vergeuden, fein austarierte Nachrichten auf weibliche Anrufbeantworter zu säuseln ohne jemals mit einem Rückruf belohnt zu werden, so würden sich alle Diskussionen um Mehrarbeit zum Auffüllen der Rentenkasse schlagartig erledigen. Dabei prasselt aus den Medien beharrlich die Botschaft auf uns ein, dass Frauen die besseren Männer sind und ES doch genauso wollen wie wir. Warum erniedrigen wir uns trotzdem fröhlich weiter? In jeder zweiten Explosiv-Reportage beklagen sich gepiercte Balearenbratzen über die Tumbheit männlicher Kontaktbemühungen. Kein Problem - ich beuge demütigst mein Haupt vor der überlegenen femininen Minne. Ich bin bereit, auf das Privileg der initativen und aktiven Partnerwahl zu verzichten. Männer, verlacht mich als hängeschultrigen Ausgeburt der neuesten metrosexuellen Kapriolen. Mädels, zeigt mir, wie es geht! Ich will lernen. Ich hatte meine Chance, ich habe sie nicht genutzt. Führt mich ein in die hohe Kunst der virtuosen Paarungsanbahnung: locker und witzig, nicht aufdringlich, originell und selbstbewusst, dabei unverkrampft und männlich, ohne machohaft zu wirken (in diesem Falle: feminin, ohne mäuschenhaft). Ihr seid dran - ich bin im Streik. Mood: On Strike Music: John Cale - Church of Anthrax

	2005.09.27  22.00 Job Offer I am offering a job as my new girlfriend. Please send me your significant application asap. Thank you very much. Mood: impatient Music: Pretty Things - Rufus Wainwright